*SharinG*

it seems like for ages I din express my feelings here.
suddenly have the mood, so here I am...
been in college for several months, seriously, I have experienced tonnes of things that I never had out of my life before ! high school girl like others. but living by myself, completely different, not controlled by anyone-parents, but I have to decide what I should do or should not. it's really challenging, as people say we study outside might become a spoilt child or something even worse. so far, I think I am still all right, but just getting more independence. learn how to take care myself, last time I always get sick after studying here, after sometimes, I used to it..although I am sick now.lol...
my friends, mostly are couple up ! at 1st I will still miss the moment being into relationship, being care, etc, but after sometimes, I think I don't need a boyfriend now, I have friends and freedom, with a boyfriend, it's just like i need to care about his feelings, and not really can enjoy my single life ! boyfriend ?! why so rush ?!! it isn't something I want !!! I finally get this into my mind !!! however, sometimes still will have crush on others, but it's not a big deal what... ~
studying college I know many friends and I was so scare I couldn't enjoy my life here compared to high school time...but it turns out well ! everyday I laugh like crazy fellow...although will go through some tough time too !!!
I look around, people start to work hard for MOCK or some don't really show this infront of us, but they are preparing for it too... it makes me feel scared too.. I keep telling myself I need to complete this and that but in the end, can't complete it at all... my determination not that strong, you know ? I feel sad for this !!!!
i cannot hold a book and sit for whole day which I would really try to do for so many years !!! I just relax and read a while and relax again, just like now !!!
is there any better way to improve myself??
I wonder.