BOYS, Feelings?!

recently, deeply think that I have this kind of weird feelings or thoughts.
When I think of I wanna have a boyfriend, or when I like a guy, 1st comes into my mind is I can couple up with this guy, but I also think that when will we break up ?!
means like in my mind, there's no future, no further future, or is it I don't believe "forever" ?
I have thought about this lots of times, perhaps I am still too young to have a boyfriend, that's why ?!!!
but if this continues, it doesn't bring any benefits for me...
means I am not seeking for love in life, but love in short terms. that sounds bad for me....

Letter fir future boyfriend

给未来男友的信：

“未来男朋友你好，你是我的爱人，所以你应该知道什么事情是我喜欢的，什么东西是我不喜欢的。我不是一个霸道的人，我的要求很简单，你一定能做到的...好好看看下面的内容吧！

我只要你的世界里有我的存在，却不会干涉你的自由，只是我不喜欢什么事情都是我最后一个知道的，潇洒不等于没交待，我要的只是你要去哪里给我个通知...就算不能给我个通知，也在事后告诉我，别让我从你或我的朋友的口中得知那些消息...这样的感受，换做是你，也不能接受吧？

我要你懂得关心我，但不是每天call我，说想我爱我，是要你用你的心细细观察我到底要的是什么...男人都是粗枝大叶的，我明白，我不会怪你，只要一万次的试探中,你能发现一次，好好关心我一次，就能抵消那九千九百九十九次的粗心了...

我希望你不要时不时说起她，她是过去式了，现在你是我的了，要嘛你就好好爱我，要是你还老是想着她，那就别浪费你我的时间，去找她吧。就算我现在伤，总好过两个人相处的日子都在伤，我是你女朋友，这样的要求不过份吧？

你可以去找别的女生，不用经过我的同意，因为我知道我一定不会答应的，就算答应也只是勉强答应...而你也不会因为我的否定而不和她出门的，我了解，所以我不怪你，但记得手脚干净些，别让我从别人的口中听见。

我要的不是走得最快的那个人，我要的是能和我一起走到最后的人...上面的条件谁都能做到，但不是谁都能坚持...”

每个人在恋爱前总会设下一些标准，
但这些标准却都难以实现，
因为爱情不是附带条件的买卖，
当你爱上一个人时，
就算他没做到以上条件时，
你也还是一样爱你他的...

或许会觉得，
如果他能达到这些条件时，
或许你会更加爱他吧？

如果他都达到了你设下的标准后，

他还是他吗？

他还是你爱的他吗？


爱情可以很简单也可以很复杂，关键是在于你把爱情简单化还是复杂化...

just another random blog !! I am feeling hungry again after eating mamak with audrey and her sis and chee wai.. all crap here and there, that's what I need after class, be fun ! but sometimes I will suddenly get down when I cannot concentrate in class. I find guilty if I din pay attention to teachers, as my parents paying so much money and I have my own targets ... I don't want just sit there and doing nothing.. but I also wanna join my friends to chit chat with them...just like it's very contradicting and feel so wrong, however, I decide when study I will be serious in study, when play I will be very playful.. hope you guys won't get angry when I suddenly walk away to sit infront cause I wanna focus in class. study 100% is impossible for me, but I learn how to make time arrangement....again, don't ignore me if I become very serious....

friends, all are about to break up !? break up season that's what we called... seeing..friends crying, headache, relief after going through all sorts of break up thingy... seriously... I find I DON'T NEED A BOYFRIEND...just like.. I am so much enjoying single life.. I can do whatever I want, be with who, go to where, all under my control.. not being locked up in a cage, to do what is told to do....
my love view has changed since I study in college. means I won't stop closing with guys because I have a BOyfriend ! such as... won't talk to guys much ? that's sounds so ridiculous for me now. social life is essential !! I hate guys being over sensitive, until get jealous...and come to arguments again? wasting time and energy...

nothing much here, my parents place a TV in my room ~ haha..so happy.. can't wAIT TO go back to my home... :)